dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
