i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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