so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
