i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think a kid would responsible me up
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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