I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
