Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
