So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
