I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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