I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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