fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
