Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
