he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
