I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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