its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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