R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
