I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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