Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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