So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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