Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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