So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
How's work?
Spinning.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
