She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
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