Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize