Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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