If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
