White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
