dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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