Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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