I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Randomize
