You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
