yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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