is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
