I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
is that a dick in a sweater?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
