i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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