their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
