it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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