just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
