I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
