It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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