this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
