We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
