Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
