Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
