hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
