Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
