Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
