at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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