Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Shame - the story of my life.
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