Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
