There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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