Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
