Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
