Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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