3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
