she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
