end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
