we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
