you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
