the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
