He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
