my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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