I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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