Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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