Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
