no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
