So drunk its hurt
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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