That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
