normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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